Friday, January 31, 2014

Dinner Party!

You are Cordially Invited to Dine with Heather… Literally Whenever You Can Come Over.

Photo Credit: Mark B. Schlemmer

I would send a dinner party invitation in an instant if I could summon some of the coolest literary ladies and gentlemen I know from the pages where they currently reside. Never mind that I hate cooking. And hanging out with too many people at the same time. I think for once I would not care.

Because it would be awesome.

My dining room table has seated something like twelve people when my mother volunteers our home for a social gathering. If I take one seat for myself, that leaves eleven empty chairs for me to fill. It’s my first time, of course, which means I’ll probably want to take it easy. Heroes and secondary protagonists seem a great place to get the action started.

Guest List:

Horace Altman—I’m not sure I could even begin to start without inviting Horace, the best of the warriors I know and one of the bravest. He’s not as smart as his friends, but that doesn’t mean he’s stupid. He would have plenty of stories to share, for sure, and more than that he would have an appetite to eat me out of house and home. I’m sure he would help out afterwards with the dishes to make up for it.

Aragorn, son of Arathorn—I don’t really envision Aragorn being much of a talker, to be honest. He’s called Strider, but at some points he acts more like a stalker. I would invite him because I love his character, and he would probably find a friend among Horace. Even if he didn’t talk, I would feel better having him around. He’d keep an eye on things.

Violet Baudelaire—A different era than either Horace or Aragorn, but despite her introverted mind Violet has some sharp ideas and would undoubtedly add valuable insight into the conversation. While we talked she would probably invent something to bring the food over to us so we don’t have to get up, or a device to refill everyone’s water glasses on demand.

Annabeth Chase—Annabeth would have a hard time keeping up between Horace and Violet, trying to hear both the epic tales of Araluen (while adding in a few of her own, I might add) and engaging in a rapid-fire discussion over inventions with Violet. As the daughter of the goddess of wisdom, I doubt she’ll be a boring character to have around.

Artemis Fowl (with Butler)—A two for one, seeing as Artemis hardly goes anywhere without his faithful manservant. Artemis will undoubtedly be fascinated by the ideas both Violet and Annabeth come up with, but knowing his love for history, he’ll also want to spend as much time speaking with his medieval counterparts as well. Hopefully he won’t offend everyone by the time dinner’s over. (Butler, of course, will get along fabulously with Aragorn and Horace because of their occupations.)

Hermione Granger—Hermione and Artemis would go head to head, I’m afraid, as a Gryffindor matched with someone like Artemis, who cannot be so easily constrained by such simple divisions as houses. I’m sure she would gush just as much as Artemis, however, over the historical knowledge she may get to gain. And with girls like Annabeth and Violet around… Who knows what would happen?

Otto Malpense—A liability, I admit, but someone needs to be around who is just as smart and capable as Artemis. Undoubtedly they will enjoy challenging each other so much they will make plans to have tea later in the week, as that is a very posh thing they would do, being Irish and British and all. Otto, however, would also learn to admire the rest of the members of the table as well, and be quite interested in having an individual conversation with each guest himself.

Halt O’Carrick—I love Halt. He would sit next to Aragorn, and make dry comments about all the young people sitting around him. Presumably everyone would be in awe of his splendor and therefore make him the butt of all subsequent jokes. And Halt would take it like a man, because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Thor Odinson—Despite the risk to my dishes, I have to invite Thor. Even though at best he’s really more of a comic book character who has made it to the silver screen. Thor would be most at home with Skandians, but to be honest, it’s not like any guest from Araluen hasn’t proved his salt. Undoubtedly Thor would have plenty of things to say in the realm of magic as well, so three or four of the others might end up tuning in as well.

Will Treaty—As if anyone could forget Will. Out of this list Will is going to be the life of the party, because even though he’s a ranger now nothing can dampen that smile. And to be honest the rest of the table isn’t really a party-going group. Except perhaps Thor. He’ll keep the spirits up, and if we’re lucky, charm us with a song. And no matter what, he’ll always have something cheeky to say.

I’m not sure if there’s much else I could ask for.

If I count correctly, that is exactly eleven people. I can’t imagine what it would be like to talk the night away with them, avoiding disasters and eating something my mother made for us. I mean, I know they’re not real…

But a girl can dream, can’t she?

What about you? Who would you invite to your fictional heroes gala?

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