Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Snazzy Snippets (Round Two)

Snazzy Snippets has come 'round again, thanks to the generous organization by Alyssa of The Devil Orders Takeout and Emily at Loony Literate. My WIPs are actually a mess right now and I as a writer am reduced to listening to the Mama Mia soundtrack and pretending I've been writing, but I wanted to participate so I pulled out a bit of free writing I did lately.


This month's themes are food, something you're proud of, or your first 500 words. I chickened out of the free writing snippet I'm really proud of, but this particular snippet does include food, so this is what I decided upon in the end.

Bon Appétit!

Death's rush hour always comes in shaky breaths and microwaved TV dinners that they said were good for you. The spirit called Night pulls on her bathrobe and tells him to drive carefully over the pass because Dany Bridges on Channel 8 said it would be icy. Death nods his head because even people who carry scythes need to be worried after by their wives sometimes, even if they are eternal.

Then it's the midnight hour—the battle cry for Taco Bell employees, VHS machines, and the cheerios lost under the fridge. It's their spicy smell—the little particles that agitate his nose and make it confused—that makes him know that tonight will be spent putting little girls in dumpsters out of their misery and only wishing that he could put the people who did this to them into something much worse. 

There's never a bad time for bagels so he eats one while he drives, staying slow so that Night won't have to worry about where any dents in the car's frame came from. Tires jiggle, his butt vibrates as the rubber gropes the ice. He hopes the ice won't press charges. 

An idiot on his left hits the bridge too fast, and in the kind of mystical slowness that happens when your fiancée walks down the aisle or you see someone take the last box of tampons from the shelf at Walgreens, his car hits the guard rails with a screech and goes over. 

He should go rescue him, but Death takes another bite of his bagel. Idiot should have listened to Dany Bridges on Channel 8 and Night. Besides, it's cold out.

~

That shall be my only contribution for this month. Thanks to Alyssa and Emily for hosting, and here's to something more substantial next month! 

Are you posting any snippets this month? Bring me to your blogs!

20 comments :

  1. Excuse me. DO WE HAVE A BAGEL-EATING DEATH? This sounds so crazy fabulous even though I have no idea of the context at all. This line: "There's never a bad time for bagels." YOU SPEAK TRUTH. And also a spirit called Night? Basically this sounds THE MOST EXCITING and thanks for linking up and do talk more about this on the blog because EEK.

    PS: If you seek beta readers or CPs, I would LOVE to take a look at this project. I'm being completely altruistic here, trust me.

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    1. YES, YES WE DO. To be honest, this was just a little bit of free writing I did one night, and this is all there was at the time I posted this, although I have written one more snippet since then.

      (And we'll see. XD I have no idea what I'm going to do with this yet. But nonetheless, I'm glad you like it and thanks for the kind words!)

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  2. I loved this! Different personifications of Death are so much fun, and I love that this one has a wife and a very "normal" sort of life. Please let me know if you ever want to expand on this--it was great!

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    1. I definitely had a lot of fun writing this. Thanks for reading and enjoying, Alex! :)

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  3. This. Brilliant. (I have forgotten how to words today, obviously.)

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    1. Thanks! (And that's okay. It means I can write a shorter comment. XD)

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  4. Wow. This is amazing. I kind of like how it's about Death. But it reads like an old hard boiled detective story!! This is awesome!

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    1. Really? I haven't read hard boiled detective stories, but perhaps I ought to read some and compare. Thanks for reading, Ashley!

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  5. This is probably my favourite personification of Death. He's just a man (spirit?) doing his job. I imagined the Grim Reaper nonchalantly driving and eating bagels. :)

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    1. Haha, that's really what I liked too. I wasn't thinking that, but now that you mention it I can just imagine his scythe leaning in from the back of his SUV. XD

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  6. ARE YOU WRITING ABOUT DEATH?!! OMG. OMGGGGG. This is great. AND DEATH IS EATING BAGELS.
    *stamps Death with APPROVAL*
    *realises how weird that sounds*
    *but stamps it several times anyway*
    Okay so I think your story sounds amazing and I would read, like, a million more pages of it. I'm a sucker for personification stories. I kind of want to write one someday, but my idea is very thin and needs lots of work but GAH WHATEVER. I bow to Death eating bagel in present tense third, which is my favourite of ever.

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    1. THANK YOU. Death is such a fun character, and if you know of any such stories I'd like to read them because I would be curious to see what other people have done. :) Thanks again for reading, Cait!

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  7. This is so cool. And funny! I like the idea of death and night, and the sarcasm. This reminds me of the book thief, in a good way, and thank you for sharing!

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    1. Yes, I think so too, although mine is a little less heavy than a WWII novel, if you know what I mean. :)

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  8. Hahaha, I'm in the middle of micro edits for my story on the personification of death and I opened up this post and got the fright of my life. I seriously thought you had gotten a hold of my MS for a second. Anyways, this sounds amazing. Death is totally the type of guy to eat a bagel while doing his job. My Death doesn't really eat but he does adore video games, so yeah. Adore this snippet! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. What? Stole your MS? Noooo, I would never do something like that! Just kidding—indeed this is my own work, and sorry for the scare. XD Death playing video games sounds even awesomer! Thanks for sharing a little about your MS, too!

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  9. OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. It's, like, super creative and smart, and also funny and interesting and aldkjasdf. *hugs post*

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    1. XD All your words just make me so happy. :) Thanks, Liz!

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  10. I really like this snippet you've shared. Your death is interesting (and bagel eating brilliance) and he's married to Night? That makes for a really, really interesting story, Heather! I'm super intrigued to see whether you share any more of this story. xx

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    1. I haven't written much more beyond this, but we will see what happens! :D I would hope that Night and Death have many more adventures to explore!

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