|Flickr Credit: Riccardo Cuppini|
I knew exactly what I wanted to be: a wedding girl. A WEDDING GIRL, I TELL YOU! Between the white dress and the flowers, I would outshine every other tyke on the street that night, and life would be perfect. After all, there is nothing better to be than a wedding girl for Halloween. Believe me, I was a wedding girl, and I would know.
Of course, there was a minor hitch in my grand plan. You can’t be a wedding girl unless you’re getting married.
OH NO! There I was, the oldest of three girls with nobody to marry in sight. I couldn’t marry Dad—he was already married to Mom. I couldn’t marry my sisters—I wasn’t about to marry a girl. (Being a first grader, I don’t think it occurred to me that you shouldn’t be in romantic relationships with your family members, either.) What was I to do? It wasn’t like I could go to Wedding Girls R’ Us and pick up a boy to marry and make Halloween complete.
Everything else was perfect, too! I practiced my wedding girl walk up and down the length of the living room, taking small, delicate steps, pausing between each one. Mom even took me to Hobby Lobby and got me a plastic flower to hold in lieu of a fresh bouquet. I ROCKED this wedding girl stuff.
But you can’t be a wedding girl unless you’re getting married. So I improvised.
Heidi wanted to be a tiger for Halloween. Don’t ask me why. I would never want to be a tiger when I could be a wedding girl, but whatever. It’s a free country, and if I teased her I would get a time-out for sure, so Heidi was allowed to be a tiger.
Unbeknownst to Heidi, this was a fortunate turn of events for Heather the wedding girl. You see, even though I was only five, with aspirations of becoming an archaeologist, I knew quite a bit about tigers. They are orange with black stripes, for example, or, a lesser known fact, there is no such thing as a girl tiger. Therefore, even if I didn’t have a brother around to marry, it was entirely appropriate for a sister dressed as a boy tiger to marry me.
I kind of feel bad for Heidi now. Being the bridegroom, she had to stand by the door for a really long time while I practiced my walk. You can’t get married if you suck while walking down the aisle. Searching the edges of my fragmented memory, I have the bad feeling there might have been kissing involved, as well.
(However, I remind you, we were in first grade and kindergarten, so just clothe those thoughts with innocence, okay? Okay. Stay that way.)
|Heather (wedding girl), Heidi (tiger), Holly (angel)|
For that reason, I am presenting to you her Etsy shop Not Quite Tigers. When she first told me, she was sewing, so I thought she said, “Not Quite Finished.” I was like, “You’re going to try to sell people stuff you aren’t done with yet?!” Then I learned.
Right now there are hats, although my favorite is the recently-added leaf gloves, that remind me of Epic and Lord of the Rings. And though it is not typical of me to advertise on this blog, I turned it into a story so that you would forgive me—because when you make your sister be your tiger bridegroom for Halloween, you kind of owe her.
You can check out Heidi’s store Not Quite Tigers, or see the Instagram account run by my sister Holly.