Monday, July 20, 2015

777 Snazzing Snippets

Mariella tagged me for the 777 Challenge again, and rather than do exactly what I did a few weeks ago, I thought it would be interesting to do a little bit of a follow up. So, to start out with, I will give lines 7-14 on the seventh page of my MS to show where the plot has moved.

No. seven
Flickr Credit: Thilo M.
Prince Lucas lay in the bed, I thought, piled under what could have been thirty blankets. Only his pale face peaked out on a pillow, in drastic contrast to when I had last seen them. Then he had been strong and smiling, with a loud voice and a firm hand. Now his skin was yellow and waxy, like I could reach out and break off a crumbling piece of his chin. I knew little of doctoring sickness, but it was obvious that Lucas didn’t have long. 
Please, I thought, hoping the magic was listening. Please heal him. It was an accident. An accident! Please, it’s all my fault—I’ll do whatever you ask, anything, if you make him well again.  
After a few minutes, I wasn’t sure who I was talking to—a god or a spirit or magic itself. But no matter how hard I pleaded, despite all my wishes, Lucas didn’t change.

And that is all very well and good, of course, but you also don’t really understand what real changes have been made to the story. And so, teaming up with another linkup, I’m participating in Snazzy Snippets, hosted by Alyssa and Emily, to share something that is villain-y, personality-y, or dialogue-y.

Since the dialogue only makes up about 28% of the snippet, I’m kind of showing some villain and personality things in the snippet. Mostly because if my protagonists aren’t secretly evil I really don’t care about finishing their stories. And it is in first person. You get some dialogue.


Hugging my merchandise close, I slipped back into the hideout, where the princess scrabbled at the dirt with her fingers, looking bored. Her dark eyes flashed at me as I entered, but calmed soon after. Wary of her sharp tongue, I passed her the bundle. She looked through it and nodded. 
“Thank you,” she said. She went to the entrance to peek outside. Seeing no one, she turned her back and slipped into the trousers like I had, always keeping an eye on the door. I didn’t blame her. I wouldn’t have wanted Silverhand to see me naked, either. Nor Deuce, come to think about it, but he probably wouldn’t be harsh or mean. 
As for me, I took my dress and made a clump of cloth that at least resembled a pillow, if you were half-blind, anyway. I laid it on the ground and put my head on it, finally allowing my body to relax after hours of walking. Sleep took me over before I had a chance to think about it. 
Voices woke me—or at least, I think they did. The lamp had since gone out, and I was alone in the hideout. Just outside, there were whispers.  
“We don’t even know if killing her would help,” Bai argued. “We don’t know anything about the disease, or if it will start spreading.” 
“The furcai had better be able to help us,” Silverhand said. “With any luck Lucas will recover and it will be like this never happened.” 
“Let’s not be hasty,” Deuce piped up. “It would be bad manners to talk about killing someone when we’re all so tired. We can discuss it after we’ve slept.” 
“Don’t wake her,” Bai warned. “The less she knows, the butter.” 
“Beluga,” Deuce replied.  
The next time I thought I was awake, grains of sand dug into my face and a cough tickled the back of my throat.

Boom. Two snippets for the price of one. Thanks to Mariella, Emily, and Alyssa for giving me the opportunity to share all this good stuff.

I could tag people, but I don’t want to be that limiting. If YOU are working on a novel, then why not share some of your snippets as well? I promise to gush over the villain if you link me up to yours below!


12 comments :

  1. *whispers* I fear you may have infected me. I care more about the characters who lean towards the antag/villain side more than those towards the protag/hero side.

    And OOOH I sense a thickening plot here! Silverhand is still my fav character, mostly still by virtue of his name. But poison and royalty and magic are right up my alley too, so you have me intrigued. What is the title of this WIP, I wonder?

    PS: You read my snippet already, so of course I'm not leaving a link, but I may or may not be accidentally focusing on the villain too much for my July #WatchMeWrite. Maybe.

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    1. *whispers* I fear that there is nothing to fear about that statement. BECAUSE ANTAGS AND VILLAINS ARE RAINBOWLICIOUS.

      It is very excitingly plottish, although more towards the ending than the beginning. Silverhand is one of my favorites as well, but I'm hoping that when I keep going poison and royalty and magic stay up my alley too. The title is currently called "I Piss on Magic."

      P.S. There is no such thing as focusing on the villain too much. Villains force heroes to rise to the call. :D

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  2. What's this new MS about! It is rather enticing. Princesses scrabbling in dirt? Dying princes? Murder? Those snippets were amazing. This is so cool :D :D Right now I'm loving fantasy, so this is amazing.XX

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    1. Well, it seems like you deduced most of it for yourself, with the exception of the word: accounting. There's a lot of money stuff in here, too. Still, it very much falls into the fantasy category, and so I'm glad you're enjoying what I've shared!

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  3. Wait you have a Prince? And a Princess? Putting on pants in secret? Murder? Are you going to tell us more?? :)

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    1. Yes! And Yes! And Yes! And also yes! I don't know if I'll tell more. At least for right now, what I need to do is give it a little break. The beginning was a real struggle for me trying to figure out the MC's character, and so I want to take a break before diving back in. But, who knows? Maybe you'll have more to hear about soon!

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  4. SILVERHAND. I need more Silverhand. Definitely very intriguing--my mind is like, "Tell me all the details". So yeah. Thanks for sharing! I'd definitely love to read more. (Also, I think it's a funny coincidence because I scheduled some more snippets from my book for Wednesday. Is it possible I read your mind?)

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    1. I think we all need more Silverhand! Hahaha. But I'm glad it sounds interesting at the very least! (Oh, I look forward to seeing your snippets soon! I'm not going to be in town on Wednesday but don't let me forget to pounce on them as soon as I come back!)

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  5. Wow, this story sounds so intriguing! And hehe, I love Deuce's line, "It would be bad manners to talk about killing someone when we’re all so tired. We can discuss it after we’ve slept." He sounds like fun. :)


    Alexa
    thessalexa.blogspot.com
    verbositybookreviews.wordpress.com

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    1. Thanks! I'd hope it would be at least that. Deuce is fun—I need to give him even more humor in the next draft. So, here's to that! Thanks for reading, Alexa!

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