And, because I am being sincere until the purple text below, there are a few things I feel I should mention, before I continue:
a) I think it's totally okay if you like reading Christian fiction.
b) I think Christian fiction has its own merits as a genre and as an art form.
c) I think those things about pretty much every genre, and although I've tried to write tons of things justifying these posts, I have concluded that I don't need to. These things are what I've noticed, and what I think. In the great words of Homer Simpson, "It's funny because it's true."
You (still) might be reading Christian fiction if...
…Christians do not doubt God.
(If you’re a doubter you’re like Thomas and Jesus will make you leave the ring of fellowship.)
…church is where perfect people with mildly unfortunate circumstances go to pray for one another in circles on fold up chairs.
(We can certainly pray for that peculiar outsider, but only once, and don’t let him in. It looks like he slept under a bridge.)
…praying solves everything.
(What? God would never call us to take any action that might put us in danger.)
…life is automatically better when you’re a Christian.
(Pretty sure God sent his only Son so we could PAR-TAY!)
…the “Jesus came to earth and died for you” speech shows up for all the conversions.
(The target audience seems to have a terrible memory when it comes to that speech—after all, they’ve been Christians their whole lives.)
…at least one person has to convert, or return to God.
(Otherwise God looks plain lazy.)
…names like C.S. Lewis are thrown out at every opportunity.
(He was perfect and makes our religion more valid so we should worship him, too.)
…Creation theory has to be defended.
(Because the church has never been wrong about science before.)
…God’s existence must also be defended.
(That guy is helpless without our convicting arguments.)
…all controversial issues are not handled as plot points but as sermons.
(Speaking of people with agendas.)
...religious controversy is ignored and we only pick fights we know we can win.
(Let’s stick Catholics in the corner with opinions about baptism and female preachers and move on.)
…people randomly have the Bible memorized to suit the story’s needs.
(You don’t have to understand it, you just have to know it.)
|via LDS Memes|
…the only memorized verses come from Psalms, or Proverbs, the Gospels, or something Paul wrote.
(How much of the Bible do we really need, after all?)
…all quoted verses use the King James Version.
(That’s what English sounded like when Jesus spoke it, you know.)
…you will never question your own morality or the truth of anything religious.
(Every time you wonder, Satan is up by ten points.)
…by the end, everyone who is available is in a secure waiting-until-marriage relationship and all hand-holding occurs under parental supervision.
(Good news: we solved the over-sexualization of women by simply objectifying them!)
…God comes through at the very end of the book because it’s not like he would leave you hanging for years and years in real life, would he?
(Click to read your typical two-hour miracle story.)
…everyone is a Christian at the end of the book or movie.
There you have it; the complete list. I do not believe I've read any Christfic that hasn't had something from one of these lists... And that is why I treat all these books like I would a plague: with intense curiosity, but still keeping my distance.