Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Common Courtesy: Visiting a Blog

People have confessed to struggling with commenting before, and I don’t blame them—sometimes it is hard to say nice or deep things.

When I was out and about during my fan week, though, sometimes I would see others who said and did yucky things, including in their comments.

Courteous
Flickr Credit: Maureen Davis

Top 5 Tips When Visiting a Blog


1. Be Respectful


Act like you’re in a stranger’s house. Most bloggers I know put a lot of work into their blogs, and even if you don’t like what they have to say, you do not have to forcibly impress your presence upon them—that is not your job.

2. Read the Posts


If you’re there, read a post. Don’t just skim. Read it! Most bloggers aren’t going to take more than five minutes of your time, and while the time adds up, so does your participation.

3. Comment Sincerely


The easiest way to show a blogger that you enjoy their work is by telling them. Be sincere in what you say, and be specific in what you talk about. “Nice post!” is not nearly as flattering as “Nice post! I was really impressed with the way you compared Harry Potter to the hopeless spirit animals on Mars, I never thought of it that way before!”

(Also, always follow the comment policy. For reals.)

4. Use Good Grammar


We’ve all made a stupid mistake and forgotten to proofread before we hit “send.” It happens. It’s good to double check, but make sure you’re using correct spelling and grammar in the first place. There should be no numbers instead of letters in your words.

(And if you’re a writer, by the way, I totally judge you based on your grammar. If I know you can’t use periods correctly now, what must your manuscript look like? Not fair of me, I know. But the way you type is one of the few things I have to go on.)

5. Don’t Lie


Don’t be mean, either. If saying “Nice post!” would be a lie for you, don’t be obliged to say, “Mediocre post!” because that’s just a little sad. But don’t pretend to like something you didn’t and don’t be pressured into lying for the sake of being nice. You can have you own opinion—but there’s always a way to express that opinion without shooting anybody else down.


I have this etiquette book by Emily Post (it’s so long) and it has some interesting things to say about manners. Double introductions are a no-no. However, there is no section on blogging, so this is my replacement on how not to be rude when visiting a blog.

What are some ways you show courtesy on other blogs? What are your rudeness pet peeves?

(Fun fact, cortés means courteous  in Spanish, and I find it super ironic that Hernán Cortés was named that and then overthrew the entire Aztec kingdom and captured all of Mexico for Spain. Like, I don’t know about you guys, but… rude.)

30 comments :

  1. This is so true! I agree with all this. I totally judge on grammar and I correct a lot of people's grammar all the time. That's such an awesome random fact. I love knowing these kind of things! This was a very intelligent and useful post :D

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    1. *nods* I used to be quite the grammar nazi, but now I just stare at people and disapprove of them. It is funny though, isn't it? Glad you found it useful, and thanks for reading! :)

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  2. WE MUST SHARE THIS EVERYWHERE. Yas. Especially #4, which is a pet peeve of mine. *whistles and pretends like she hasn't had bad grammar in actual posts before*
    Anyway, I do love this. I always try to leave a comment with more details than just "nice post!", and to point out at least one thing I liked even if I didn't like/didn't agree with the post. Postivity is pretty much always the way to go even if you're disagreeing.

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    1. I AGREE. Which maybe sounds self-centered but whatever. *whistles and ignores the bad grammar in her own writing* Leaving detailed posts is definitely a kindness, and yeah, being positive can be kind. I've noticed that's something you've done on Opal's blog and even your own when we disagree; it's rather astute of you. :)

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  3. I'm usually the one with bad Grammar since I don't recheck what I'm writing most of the times.I usually try to leave a good comment if I leave one else I skip commenting on that post. :P

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    1. Well, part of it is just learning to type correctly in the first place; it takes lots of practice! It is good to make the most of your commenting experiences, so kudos to you on that. :)

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  4. I get kind of annoyed at the generic "Great post!" comments, especially when they're followed by something like "Check my blog here (insert URL)." It's just so much nicer to get more sincere, thoughtful comments, and I strive to do that with my comments. Too many grammar mistakes also annoy me. I'm not so strict with grammar that one or two mistakes throw me off, but if the comment looks like "hello gr8 post i have a blog that u must chex out cos i post awsom stuf", I get a little bit wary.

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    1. I know. *facepalm* Ah yes, I sit here utterly destitute in life simply because I haven't yet visited your blog. Sincere comments make my day, and I think that's always why I try to do what you do and be sincere as well. And yes, when you start typing like an illiterate then it's just sad and those comments sometimes mysteriously go away...

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    2. Haha, MYSTERIOUSLY. Or, you know, they stay there because the blogger finds spammy comments like that so funny that they just have to keep them on the blog.

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    3. XD I haven't run into a situation like that yet, but you never know when they'll show up!

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  5. These are some excellent, excellent guidelines. I always try to leave sincere comments, but usually that means I put off reading blogs because I want to have the time to really process what they're saying and contribute something meaningful. Oh well.

    What I find funny is when someone writes a long comment and then at the end apologizes for how long it was. I want to shout "NO NO I LOVE LONG COMMENTS!"

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    1. Glad you think so! Leaving sincere comments can be tricky for sure, but the blogs you do make it to certainly appreciate the things you stopped to say, for sure. It's worth it. :)

      I apologize for long blog comments all the time. XD I love getting them, too, but at the same time, I feel like I'm hogging space. :)

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    2. But the space of the internet is infinite! How can you hog space if there is an unending supply of it? :-)

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    3. Okay, okay. XD Perhaps I just hog the perception of space.

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  6. YouTube tends to be the only place I see rude comments most of the time, rather than blogs. And people who use text-speak *sighs* it's honestly not hard to write the full word.

    Great guidelines :)

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    1. That's true; I tend to resist the urge to scroll down, because it's just sad to read those things. :( Text-speakers are totally one of my least favorite things, too. Thanks! :)

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  7. I agree with everything you all have said. I think it is particularly nice to be specific. Show the blogger that you've actually read their work and enjoyed it. Don't just say GREAT POST, mention WHY you liked their post or which part impressed you the most. ( I agree with Sophia, long comments rock!)

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    1. Being specific is something I try to do often; the why is often just as or more important than the statement itself! And yes, long comments are great, but also sometimes they can be huge and frightening. It's a problem. But not a horrible one. :D

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  8. Absolutely. I have to confess, I sometimes skim, but normally when I get to commenting I go back up and skim again, so I guess repeated skimming = actually reading? :P I always try to pick out a detail or two that I enjoyed when reading a blog post, because even though generic answers are great nonetheless, it's nice to have that affirmation the person didn't comment just based on the title.

    I wonder, what's your opinion on people leaving links to their blogs in the comments? I mean, there's already your name with a URL you can pick, and if you leave a generic-ish comment and then tell me you have a blog, I'm just "erm ... did you come here just to drop that link?" Is it my paranoia? Do you get that too?

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    1. Repeated skimming is like selective absorbing. Each time you get new molecules in your brain and so you more or less get the whole text, I suppose. I agree, though, a generic comment is better than no comment at all, but it's still better when you know the person read it.

      Hmmm... It tends to bug me sometimes, but other times it doesn't. I think it really depends on the way it is done. If the linking to the blog takes up more than half of the post, then I always get a little disappointed because I feel like it was just a link-dropping experience. Other times, I think it's done more successfully—if it's a blog I stopped in on and just said hi, and the blogger comments back, sometimes it's nice to have a link back just because I have some reference (and usually those people take the time to read the actual post, too). It can also clarify; Shanti down below here does not have a name that matches her Blogger profile, so the clarification at the bottom helped me. And I already follow her blog so it's not like she's getting anything more out of that link drop.

      So... I think you can usually tell why the link dropping is happening, and usually I feel like it's just self-promotion unless I know of an ulterior motive, specifically. It's sad, but true. :P There are certainly more tasteful ways to link-drop.

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  9. This is really important. Sometimes it is hard to think of what to say without sounding repetitive. And if you have something to say, don't be afraid to say it! I'm quite guilty of the not proofreading thing, but lovely and thought provoking post as ever , Heather (it almost rhymes)
    Shanti @ http://weavingwaveswords.wordpress.com

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    1. *nods* Being a good commenter can be tricky, but it is also a great way to make friends. :) Also, yes, you should be willing to share your opinion all the time. Proofreading is something I need to work on, too—I'm so used to spelling things right the first time it's super easy for me to repeat myself and not even notice.

      Thanks for reading, Shanti! (And yes, I have a very rhymey name. :D)

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  10. I am so guilty of breaking these rules before. I often respond to comments and read my blogging feed late at night, so I have to be super careful when I'm commenting with a sleepy brain.

    I'm extremely lucky to have never had to deal with rude commenters on my blog and I think it's due to posts like this! Thanks for this great reminder.

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    1. I think we all are, actually—because there's no such thing as a perfect blogger, and there are many schools of thought in this realm. Being sleepy is a thing for me, too; for me it's early in the morning when I'm at my worst!

      It's good you've never had the rude comments! :) Let's hope it stays that way. Thanks for reading, Sunny!

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  11. My friends all call me a grammar snob :) I do like good grammar, but I will read a post regardless (as long as the content is good).

    Luckily, I have never encountered rude commenters on my blog. This post was very interesting!

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    1. I know the feeling; I get very snobbish sometimes. :D I will usually try to read the post, too, because we all make mistakes sometimes—it's when it's completely incomprehensible that I usually give up on.

      That's good, too! I hope you never have to deal with rude comments. Thanks for the comment, Cindy!

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  12. If I have nothing to say, then I generally don't leave a comment. I've just learned to accept that I won't always have something to say on a post, but that's okay, because there's always a next time, right? :D

    I also don't have a problem with a typo here and there in a comment because everyone makes mistakes, but if the person basically uses text-type in a comment, I'll end up getting so irritated that I'll just have to edit it myself *hides in shame* But luckily, that hasn't happened to me (yet).

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    1. I understand that; and yes, sometimes it's better to wait so that you can give someone an honest comment next time.

      Typos can be a problem, yes, and I probably wouldn't be able to resist the urge to correct them, either. Fortunately, it hasn't happened to me, either!

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  13. It sounds very interesting!
    i like the post very much keep it up
    Yah this blog is making a dfference. I love it.
    Buy AC online

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Check it out, comments and stuff. I love to hear from readers, and I always respond to commenters! Here's the fun part—if you leave a link to your blog I'll show up and comment back. I have just one rule down here: Don't Be a Problem. This spans the entire umbrella of rudeness and crudeness, so I reiterate: Don't Be a Problem. Thanks for stopping by!