Wednesday, January 15, 2014

To Juliet Butler (A Letter)

Dear Juliet,

It would be great if we could go to Starbucks or something sometime. I mean, I know you’re busy because if you’re not in the middle of a wrestling tournament then you’re trotting after the Fowl boys and your big brother, but it would still be cool to grab lunch and chill out.

Because, if you weren’t aware, you’re one of my favorite characters in Artemis Fowl.

Despite your taciturn brother you choose to be fun and wild, and you make any mission fun with your bubbling personality and smart aleck comments. Butler and Holly may not appreciate them, but I do. But then, I am not a soldier the way they are. It doesn’t make you any less dedicated. There aren’t many people who would undergo the training you would, nor many who would abandon that future for a life in the ring. That kind of bravery is of the coolest to read.

Still, the best part about you is that you’re the kind of girl who can wear glitter mascara and beat up pizza boys. In the graphic novels you like to wear pink. There’s no distinction for you between a “girly girl” and a tomboy because you’re out there accomplishing both, melding glamour and grit into one. Too many times in the real world the female characters are either attractive airheads, tough but regrettably ugly, or unrealized beauties who have unfortunately been addled by too many books. That’s what makes you awesome. You don’t sacrifice style for your dreams. You make it happen, regardless.

It’s so easy to see why Butler is so proud of you. You rock.

So yeah. We should get together sometime. You can tell me all about Artemis Fowl, and what it’s like working for him and all about your crazy adventures and I will buy lunch. (Not that I’d be allowed to keep my memories for very long, I suppose. Bummer.)

You’ll also have to tell me some other important stuff, too. Like who are your parents, and where are they, anyway? How many years older is Butler? Where did you go to school? When did you move to Ireland with the Fowls? And how come you were born in the U.S.? Like, how did you even get here?

I guess you’ll have to tell me later. We’ll talk soon.


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